Questions About Spousal Benefits Never Stop

Tom Margenau
Tue, 10 Feb 2026 23:00:00 -0800
Lifestyle

I've been saving up questions I've gotten from readers about benefits for spouses. It's an issue I've covered a hundred times in this column. But the questions still keep coming. So, here is column No. 100 — one about benefits paid to wives and widows — and occasionally, husbands and widowers.

Q: I am about to turn 63 and am thinking of starting my Social Security then. My wife is 67 and has been getting her own Social Security since she was 62. My benefit is significantly higher than hers. I've heard that if I do take my benefits at 62, my wife's spousal share will be based on that reduced amount. But her widow's benefit, assuming I pre-decease her, will be based on my full retirement benefit rate. Is this true?

A: No, it's not true. In fact, it's just the opposite. The benefit paid to a wife while her husband is still alive is based on his full retirement age (FRA) rate. But the benefit paid to a widow includes any reduction he incurred in his own benefit if he started them before his FRA:
Updated: Wed Feb 11, 2026

I've been saving up questions I've gotten from readers about benefits for spouses. It's an issue I've covered a hundred times in this column. But the questions still keep coming. So, here is column No. 100 — one about benefits paid to wives and widows — and occasionally, husbands and widowers.

Q: I am about to turn 63 and am thinking of starting my Social Security then. My wife is 67 and has been getting her own Social Security since she was 62. My benefit is significantly higher than hers. I've heard that if I do take my benefits at 62, my wife's spousal share will be based on that reduced amount. But her widow's benefit, assuming I pre-decease her, will be based on my full retirement benefit rate. Is this true?

A: No, it's not true. In fact, it's just the opposite. The benefit paid to a wife while her husband is still alive is based on his full retirement age (FRA) rate. But the benefit paid to a widow includes any reduction he incurred in his own benefit if he started them before his FRA:

If you do take benefits at 63, here is roughly how they will figure your wife's spousal benefit. They will take her full retirement age benefit rate and subtract that from one-half of your FRA rate. Any difference will be added to her reduced retirement benefit.

But if you die first, her widow's benefit will be based on your reduced retirement benefit. In a nutshell, her own benefit would be bumped up to whatever you were getting at the time of death.

Q: My husband is 67 and starting his Social Security. I am 62. Other than a few years after high school when I had some part-time jobs, I have spent my entire adult life as a wife or homemaker. So, I have no Social Security of my own. A neighbor told me that after my husband dies, I will never be able to get widow's benefits because I don't have my own Social Security account. Is this true?

A: It's absolutely false. As I always tell my readers, and as I just pointed out in a recent column, never listen to friends or neighbors offering Social Security advice. It's almost always wrong.

In fact, not only will you be due widow's benefits when your husband dies, but you are due dependent wife's benefits on his record right now. Call Social Security at 800 — 772-1213 and file a spousal claim right away.

Q: I am a kind of rare bird. I have been a stay-at-home husband and father most of my adult life. My wife is a doctor and has been the primary wage earner in our family. We are both about to turn 62 and are starting to think about Social Security. Will I be due any Social Security on my wife's record?

A: Yes, you will. For the most part, Social Security laws are gender neutral. So you will be able to get your dependent husband's benefits once your wife retires. And if she dies before you do, you will get widower's benefits.

Q: I am 68 and thinking of signing up for my Social Security. I have a 45-year-old wife and we have two children. The 16-year-old daughter is her child from a previous marriage. The 10-year-old son is our child. I just learned our son might be due benefits on my record. Is this true?

A: Yes, it's true. And not only your son, but also your stepdaughter. And for that matter, if she is not working, your wife could also be due benefits. But the amount of money you all would get will be restricted by "family maximum" rules that limit the amount of benefits payable to a retiree with minor children. I don't have the space to get into all of that today. But you should call Social Security at 800-772-1213 to talk about filing for benefits for you and your family.

Q: I am waiting until age 70 to claim my Social Security. I am doing that to get the bonus added to my retirement rate for delaying starting my benefits until 70. But I was also doing that so that my wife would get my augmented benefits after I die. (Her own benefit is about a thousand dollars less than mine.) So imagine my shock when a Social Security rep recently told me that after I die, my wife's widow's benefit will be based on my full retirement age rate, not by age 70 rate. Is this right?

A: No, it's not right. And for some reason (lack of training?), Social Security Administration reps frequently get this wrong. While you are alive, any spousal benefits she might be due are based on your full retirement age benefit. But after you die, her widow's benefits are based on your augmented age 70 rate, including the bonus you got for waiting that long to claim your benefits.

Q: I am 63 and have been a wife and homemaker all my life, so I get a small percentage of my husband's Social Security. But I've always wondered this. Why don't women in my position get Social Security credits for the work we did as homemakers and childcare providers?

A: As I've explained in prior columns, this is a topic that has been debated for years. But the issue always comes down to this: Where would the money or earnings come from to put on your Social Security record? And the only viable solution policy planners have ever come up with is a concept known as "earnings sharing." In a nutshell, that means a working husband and a stay-at-home mom would split the earnings the husband makes

For example, if Husband Henry makes $100,000 per year, $50,000 would go on his Social Security record and $50,000 would go on Wife Wilma's Social Security record. Now that might make Wife Wilma happy that she's being "paid" for Social Security purposes with earnings and credits going on her account. But just ask Husband Henry how thrilled he is that he only gets Social Security credit for half the money he makes — and eventually ends up with a much smaller Social Security benefit!