What's in a Name? Sometimes, Nothing at All

Yonason Goldson
Thu, 02 Apr 2026 23:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm going public with a humiliating confession. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," the plot twist in Chapter 20 caught me completely by surprise. That's where Professor Remus Lupin reveals himself to be — spoiler alert! — a werewolf.

I never saw it coming.

J.K. Rowling drops numerous hints along the way. But she lets the wolf out of the bag the moment she introduces the professor in Chapter 7. How? His name.
Updated: Fri Apr 03, 2026

In the spirit of full disclosure, I'm going public with a humiliating confession. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," the plot twist in Chapter 20 caught me completely by surprise. That's where Professor Remus Lupin reveals himself to be — spoiler alert! — a werewolf.

I never saw it coming.

J.K. Rowling drops numerous hints along the way. But she lets the wolf out of the bag the moment she introduces the professor in Chapter 7. How? His name.

Classical mythology recounts the story of Romulus and Remus, raised together by a she-wolf before the former murdered the latter and then founded the city of Rome. Canis lupus, of course, is the species familiarly known to us as wolf. What could be more obvious?

I offer no defense for failing to notice such a boldfaced clue planted so conspicuously up front. After all, Ms. Rowling sprinkles similar descriptive monikers liberally throughout her classic series. Draco Malfoy displays draconian ruthlessness at every turn. His father, Lucius, waxes Luciferian in speech and deed. Voldemort translates from French as "stealer of death."

This interconnection between word and subject has a name, which makes a fitting entry for the Ethical Lexicon:

Aptronym (ap*tro*nym/ ap-truh-nim) noun

A name descriptive of the thing or person it represents.

Many Jews of Europe resorted to aptronyms in 1787, when Emperor Joseph II of Austria required all his subjects to adopt last names. The shoemaker became Sandler. The tailor became Schneider. The weaver became Weber.

Aptronyms frequently appear as new additions to the dictionary. For example: Streetery, the off-the-sidewalk dining areas that popped up during COVID; also greenwashing, the misleading appearance of social conscience that masks anti-environment practices.

Aptronyms can be great fun. Imagine a vintner named Beryl Wein or a lamp manufacturer named Shanda Lear. On the darker side, we don't have to imagine the way Bernie Madoff made off with billions in other people's money.

However, reading too much into a name becomes downright dangerous when we perceive connections where they aren't and presume meaning when there is none. Consider some of the most polarizing terms in contemporary discourse. What immediately comes to mind when you hear the words:

Conservative. Liberal. Republican. Democrat. MAGA. Woke. Capitalist. Progressive.

Conservatism and liberalism are both sound political and social philosophies. The Republican and Democrat parties both arose from honorable historical origins. What could possibly be wrong with making America great again, or with aspiring to greater sensitivity toward those who share our world? And there's little rational objection to either economic meritocracy or to a vision for a better future.

What we've done collectively is weaponize these and many other neutral terms by turning them into ideological aptronyms. Conservative means reactionary. Liberal means radical. MAGA Republicans and woke Democrats both stand for shredding the constitution. Capitalism favors return to a caste system while progressivism steers us toward Orwellian dystopia.

Ethical discourse is possible only with open and honest communication, and we communicate only by agreeing on the objective and contextual meaning of the words we use. When different groups ascribe different meanings to the same terms, the inevitable result is perpetually rising volume and continuously diminished understanding.

Lewis Carroll understood this all too well in his wonderland fantasy: "When I use a word," said Humpty Dumpty, "it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."

If we embrace Humpty's haughty philosophy by projecting our biases onto the words of others, pride will certainly come before the fall. Once that happens, all the king's men will be woefully incapable of picking up the pieces.

To encourage civil discourse, resist the impulse to impose meaning others never intended on the words they use. Rather, promote a healthy society by attempting to understand what others actually mean to say. Perhaps then they will be more motivated to try to understand you.

To see more from Yonason Goldson and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.